


Safe

by Diary



Category: London Spy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bechdel Test Fail, Canon Gay Character, Conversations, Established Danny Holt/Alex Turner, Established Relationship, Insomnia, Love, M/M, Male Friendship, POV Alex Turner, POV Male Character, POV Queer Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6186625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. A look at Alex's insomnia and his eventual decision to tell Danny everything. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own London Spy.

After the first time he and Danny have sex, he sleeps peacefully.

The most likely conclusion is the physical exertion in combination with his intensified emotions cleared his mind and allowed it to respond correctly to his body’s depleted energy.

Sex with Danny always makes him happy, but just as with running, the physical exertion only sometimes leads to sleep, and there are times he’s mentally relaxed, physically exhausted, and still grasping for sleep.

One night, Danny wants to watch a movie.

He doesn’t particularly care for it.

Danny shrugs and proceeds to explain why he enjoys it.

He listens until Danny can’t get out more than three words without yawning and is alternating between blinking rapidly and staring blankly.

Once he gets Danny into bed, Danny doesn’t let go of his hand. “Could you stay the night?”

He has no change of clothes, no toiletries, and staying means having to get up early in order to go home in time to get ready for work.

Even knowing all this, he finds himself answering, “Sure.”

He settles onto the bed, and when the thoughts begin, Danny rolls closer and wraps around him.

It startles him, it delights him, and before he can realise it, he’s slipped into sleep.

There are still nights when sleep simply refuses to come, but he notices a drastic drop in them when he’s with Danny.

Some nights, Danny will fight against sleep in an effort to help him fall into it.

Over the months, Danny tells him about Danny’s past. At first, it seems Danny is trying to slip little bits of pieces of information to him at odd times. Then, slowly, they begin talking about the past, and Danny simply tells him things.

He tries not to feel guilty about all the things he doesn’t tell Danny in return.

When Danny tells him about the ad and unsafe sex, he expects it’ll be a night he gets little, if any, sleep, and he finds himself surprised to realise he’s fighting sleep.

He stops, and it comes.

They go away for the weekend, and when they come back, he finds sleep is easier than ever to obtain.

“Do you know what’s changed,” Danny asks.

“No,” he answers.

On one of the nights his insomnia is in full force, he finds himself looking at the sleeping Danny.

 _I love you_ , Danny had whispered. _You don’t need to say anything. I just thought it’s something you should know. I love you, Alex._

When Alex had said it back, Danny hadn’t needed to tell him anything, but Danny had.

There will always be secrets in the world. If his research comes to fruition, there will be a period of abatement. Then, people even more intelligent than he, people with more creativity than he’ll ever have, and evolving technology will circumvent it.

Abruptly, he realises he feels safe.

If someone were to attack, there’s little Danny could do to protect either of them. If there were a medical emergency, a fire, or a natural disaster, Danny might not know how to respond appropriately.

People want him to desist his research, he hasn’t figured out the exact methods utilised by them to have found out about it, and if Danny ever finds out how much he’s been lying- he might lose Danny.

Despite all this, lying next to Danny, he feels safe. Danny can be trusted, and Danny returns his feelings.

Putting aside his fear of losing Danny, it wouldn’t be fair to put Danny in danger by telling him everything.

In the morning, Danny sympathetically asks, “Any sleep at all?”

He shakes his head.

“I could get Pavel to loan me that DVD you hate so much tonight,” Danny offers. “Maybe we could also try…”

He doesn’t precisely hate the DVD. It’s in Ukrainian, and while he suspects the reason Danny forgoes English subtitles is due to Danny creating his own (almost certainly completely inaccurate) translation of the story in his head, his knowledge of linguistic principles makes it easy enough to translate a majority of the DVD.

He once watched it with the subtitles, and it only made him more exasperated.

He doesn’t hate it, but his mind is constantly reflecting on the illogical premise and inexplicable character actions. If he isn’t tired, these thoughts make his skin prickle, but when he watches at night, especially when he’s physically exhausted, he often finds himself slipping into sleep even as his thoughts about it continue to race.

Some of the dreams he’s had are disturbing, but for him, sleep is sleep.

During the weekend, they’d had sex, and though sex with Danny has always been wonderful, he’d been shocked at the newfound intensity of his enjoyment of it.

“And if not, I can-”

He turns up the radio and asks, “Could you take the day off today?”

Danny gives him a surprised look. “Yeah, of course. Is there some errand?”  

“No,” he answers. “I was thinking we could go out to the country.”

Danny smiles excitedly, but the worry doesn’t fade from his expression. “As much as I’d love that- Um, I’m not sure how to say this. Since when do you-”

“Since today,” he answers.

Danny accepts the answer until they’re sitting by the water. Taking Alex’s hand, he asks, “Can you tell me what’s really going on, now?”

Taking a breath, Alex slowly does.

When he’s done, Danny’s first response is to gently kiss him. Then, he says, “Okay. It’s going to take some time for me to fully understand all of this, but if nothing else, I can be a sounding board. Now, your mum, do you think she’d take your side or MI6’s?”


End file.
